Got my shi rocked

I’m M18, 160lbs, been training for about a year and a half. Today was my second hard spar with someone who was probably 30–50 pounds heavier than me.

It started off with a heavy low kick that I managed to check, and then, because I’m stupid I started brawling with the guy. I ate a clean knee to the gut, and after that he just started throwing absolute sledgehammers at me. I stayed standing, didn’t get rocked or anything, but my inner lip got torn up I could feel a strip of it just hanging there mid round lol

I keep trying to remind myself not to be too hard on myself, especially with the weight difference, but man… getting f’ed up in sparring really messes with your head. I feel like I should be fighting amateur by now, yet I’m getting chin-checked by a new 17-year-old.

I know I’m better than how I performed. I completely threw my training out the window and shelled up most of the round instead of staying technical, especially against someone who was clearly a heavy hitter. I know I got him with a couple of good hard shots to the liver but my foot work just wasn’t there:(

So to the fighters out there how do you build that toughness? How do you deal with sparring sessions that shake your confidence in your fighting ability?