Getting confidence back after accidental kick to the head while holding pads.

Hi, ive been doing kickboxing since I was 6, I did my first fighting competition when I was 7. I did my last when I was 17, I was team captain. I loved it.

I love fighting I joined Muay Thai over a year ago; im now 27, rediscovering my love for fighting. I wish I knew about Muay Thai when I was a teen I would’ve dropped everything for it.

Recently I got an accidental kick to the head during freestyle pads, it was no one’s fault. I’m not used to wearing a belly pad as im quite short and small and it’s very bulky on me so I have to hold my arms in a weird position im not used to, so the pads don’t get caught on the belly pad.

The gym was loud. An error in communication was made, I called jab cross, she thought it was jab cross right kick from how I moved the pad and because of the noise of everyone else calling shots.

I got a kick to the jaw. My teeth made a horrible noise. I got a fright I was confused. Thankfully it was her foot and not shin or it would be a different story because we had no shin pads or gum shields in.

I was okay physically other than sore face and the usual stuff that happens when you get your bell rung. I know if we were sparing and that happened I would’ve been fine, mentally that is. The two of us had a good laugh after it, hugged and bonded.

I’m really frightened of sparring now. I got two horrible liver kicks from a girl a foot taller and 20kg heavier than me the week before and it didn’t have an impact on me. Other than the desire to get better at avoiding liver kicks from bigger southpaws.

This is different. I’m really struggling and want to train but I’m frightened for the sparring round. I can take a beating. I can get my bell rung. If I get hurt I take a min and go back to it either that day or the next week. But the accidental kick to the head unexpectedly has made me scared to train. I’ve never had my confidence shaken.

Please help me overcome this. Any advice welcome.

Edit: spelling & grammar