Feel bad after sparring too hard

Heya!

So I had an incident today that’s got to me a bit. Was at Muay Thai today after a month long break, was technical sparring day. We ended the hour and a half session with some light “kick play”, just trying to flow and land roundhouses and teeps.

Anyway, all was going well but final guy I paired with I started off with a teep to the thigh on his front leg. He stopped and immediately and sharply said “way too hard! Way too hard.” I stopped and apologised then we tapped gloves. I made sure to pedal back on my power a lot and check if my shots were okay on power, but during the exchange I accidentally got in two crotch shots when I was aiming for the body – they were light and luckily he was wearing a cup but again he stopped and just said “come on man, for fucks sake”.

I then apologised and basically stopped throwing any hits at all and stuck to defence as I was a bit worried about repeating the mistake and was by that point making mistakes because I was feeling gassed.

I think the issue is he’s a fair bit taller (6ft 4 where I’m 5ft 11) so I had to teep higher to avoid the cup but being gassed I wasn’t able to reach high enough. Then also I’ve been rocked by this guy a few times (received a pretty gnarly head kick once and took a hook that made my ears ring) which put me in a bit of a fight or flight head space when sparring him.

Anyway, I apologised at the end and told him it came from inexperience not malice, then gave him a fist bump. He told me to listen better to the instructor and that it should never go that hard unless preparing for a fight and agreed upon.

Overall I just feel terrible and a bit awkward- it’s the first time I’ve had something like this happen. I’m worried that sometimes I get a bit too carried away in sparring especially when tired and / or going up against people I’m intimidated by.

Anyone got any thoughts or advice? Is this part of the learning curve? Did I handle it okay? Etc etc

Any tips on keeping a cool head in sparring? Feel like it’s something I struggle with a bit and I don’t think It’s ego as much as getting carried away.

Thanks a lot 🥊

TLDR: accidentally teeped a sparring partner too hard in the leg then teeped him in the nethers – feel like an asshole and seeking advice.